Category: Hot Footing

Hot Foot Powder

I thought I’d share one of the many recipes for Hot Foot Powder. Hell, I personally use three different recipes myself; and each group seems to have their own twist on it.

In Texas, I’ve heard of folks adding tumbleweed to it, which makes a lot of sense to me.

Here in Arkansas, a tumbleweed is what we call a Wal-Mart plastic bag, since so many are blowing all over hell.


Basically what you need is some cayenne pepper, black pepper, sulfur, gun powder, and salt.

I don’t really measure out ingredients, as I go by sight (it’s how I learned to cook and what not; we weren’t much for measurin’) – but I do always use more cayenne, to give the powder a more red color.

If you’re gonna be grinding this stuff up; please wear a mask, as the ingredients can be caustic. And keep it away from fire – the shit’s flammable.

St. Expedite is famous for fast results, and helping in all areas of life. Hell, He’s even known to whoop an ass or two – yep, He WHOOPS SOME ASS – and I don’t give a damn who disagrees, and I know some of them self made “root doctors” on the net try to say “He’s a saint, He doesn’t do bad” – well hell, the saints in the Bible did some pretty harsh things, and don’t forget the prophets.

Anyhow, sometimes we get folks around us that are trouble. You know the type, the no good sumbitches who’re always causing problems, and flappin’ their damn jowls 90 to nothing, just to stir up some shit.

Well here’s something to try:

Print off this picture here of St. Expedite and write the name of those bastards right under good ole St. Expedite’s feet. Talk to the Lord and tell Him what you’re wanting St. Expedite to do – to send “John Doe” the hell away. Then you pray to St. Expedite – you can use any of the prayers that circulate – then you tie that picture to a helium balloon and let it go off into the air.

As you let it go, snap your fingers over and over and say “St. Expedite, make him/her go quick, in the name of the Lord.”

Out of sight, out of mind – to hell with them.